love your body
this post is dedicated to my dear friend, suzymags, who has a totally bangin’ body but sees this shit just as i do.
so the new “body for everybody, love your body” ad campaign by victoria’s secret is in full swing. you’ve probably seen the tv spots, or if you’re male, been to the website for a closer look. it casts these angels:
this is clearly an attack on my dove girl ass!
get this, in the campaign each of these 5′ 11′, 100 pound (10% is boob weight), superleggy, supermodels appear on screen and declare “i love my body.” thank you captain obvious. i might have missed that you have a very loveable body had you not pointed it out.
and speaking of pointing it out, i say we take the patented laser dysfunction detector* to the flesh of these little twiggies. yes, just because they’ve been plumped, padded, bronzed, painted, styled, color-corrected, and air-brushed for hours by top professionals in the plumping, padding, bronzing, painting, styling, color-correcting, and air-brushing fields doesn’t mean they’re without flaws. it’s time to reveal victoria’s secrets.
i’ll just go left to right in the photo and reveal the secret** that the camera doesn’t show:
1. premature dryness
2. overactive bladder
3. hermaphrodite
4. chronic yeast infections
5. queefer
6. hyper gag reflex
7. chlamydia
kinda makes me love my body after all. excellent work VS!
*the patented laser dysfunction detector looks like a metal detector wand thingy and clicks when a condition is found. there was a lot of clicking going on when this group was scanned.
**actual medical records were not obtained and results have not been verified. therefore, more conditions could exist.
I am fairly certain when I ran the magic wand over the screen, I detected the herpes on models 1,2 ans 4. Just sayin, maybe, maybe not.
Victoria’s Secret will never use a regular model for anything. We all know it. Thing is, they will never have to do so because everyone keeps shopping there no matter how insulting their ads are to women.
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The men from your previous post had depth, imperfections and even body fat. What is this saying about men and women? What does it say about what Madison ave thinks of men? I think this ad denigrates men as much as women. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. They must think all men are cross eyed.
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i still get vs mailers (with free coupons for panties) and the latest
one featured these long-legged fillies and it reminded me how much
i like women with who eat food and whose thighs aren’t the size of
my fore-arm.
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wicked shawn – i knew there more flaws to be seen here.
linda – all men must be cross-eyed! too funny, girl.
desmond – send me those coupons!
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Ahh well…As usually they all look like they need a couple of cheese burgers….
Yes I am black,
No I don’t like absurdly big women…
http://www.stuff-about.com
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Even with their “little secrets”, I can’t find anything wrong with these lovelies. Well, I take that back; the hermaphrodite could be problematic as could be the chlamydiac. Maybe, I’m just picky.
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Taken from Shakespeares 130th Sonnet…My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun…
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
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I heard that model #4 has turrets syndrome.
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