i finally had a little spare time today and was able to catch up on some of my favorite bloggers. i should have started looking for a new job because i really want to make more money. i figure if i’m going to wilt  in the corporate world away under fluorescent lights, i should at least be compensated better for the ass raping my pain and suffering.

also other people are moving up around me and i just keep thinking what the fuck am i doing wrong? frat boys and ass lickers who work part-time hours are getting promoted to the likes of assistant vp positions.

my title: piss ant.

also if you really think about what i just said you’d realize the senior vp doing the promoting likes her ass licked. doesn’t that say it all?

i need out.

but looking for a new job is just too heavy a task for me today. i was in nyc over the weekend looking at art. went to the matisse show at moma. it’s been too long since i’ve been to moma. damn, that’s a fun museum. i really love modern art something fierce. it lifts my spirits and makes me feel less alienated. that’s huge, punkers. cuz like major tom i’ve hit an all time low at work and really feel like a space oddity lately.

but then again some modern art leaves me flummoxed. for instance, i think this installation was just too modern even for me.

yeah, i don't get it either.

anyhussy, i also partied like lilo in nyc and am rendered useless today. so job hunting is out and reading my bloggy buddies is in. like modern art, they make me happy. they calm me down. distract me from the dissonance in my head.  (btw, that’s two motherfucking awesome words i’ve used in this post. flummoxed and dissonance. count with me.)

they show me love. they give me shelter from the storm.

recently three of them gave me props on their audacious blogs.  (yep, we’re up to three) midwesternmama, dufmanno, and wicked shawn all turned my frown upside down just by mentioning me.

then one of my all-time faves, midget man of steel, visited and commented on my blog for the first time ever.  i was like SCORE!

and one of my most loyal followers started a blog on turkey trading and alluded (four or no?) to my having been an inspiration for her blog on facebook. ok, it’s not really about turkey trading, it’s about stock trading but you need to read her to get the background.

and the greatest love of all came from elly. she learned a song for me on herbert the ukele and gave me shivers all down my spine.  i’m not kidding, i was so moved i cried listening to her sing and play it.

so maybe i don’t want a new job after all. with a new job comes more responsibility and less time for the blogosphere. and that would make patty punker a very sad girl.

also to every single one of you on my blogroll: thank you for making my world a happier place and bludgeoning (definitely four now) my demons on a regular basis. you are all so original and inspiring to me. i love you all. 

take me away with you my loves.

once upon a time (last week) i dreamt that i flew away to a utopian world by the sea. it was a visually transendental trip and i saw the most fantastic things. (it was not unlike the kind of trip i had the first time i put acid blotter under my tongue in high school and saw floating M&Ms and could read my BFF’s thoughts from the other room. and music sounded more intense than ever. every instrument was like a string attached to my body and mind making my arms and legs dance and my brain pop. only this trip was much more real.)

there was a magnificent sea castle with an ocean view.

and the sirens of atlantis appeared before my very eyes.

then a cranky sea witch who always hated having her picture taken in a bikini emerged from the sea and i saw that her frozen strawberry potion had melted which may or may not have accounted for the reason she was not smiling.

but there were water ninjas determined to make the sea witch smile because they knew she shared their need for speed and non-stop exhilaration.

the sea witch lived in the tower of the doom where thunder and lightning sparks constantly shot out into the sky even amongst the bright sunshine and deep blue sea.

despite having to live in the tower of doom with the evil nunzilla,

the sea witch was made very happy by the beauty and adorned bodies of the nereids who surrounded her.

one night amphitrite (the tall sea nymph) was celebrating her 18th birthday so a handsome black knight brought his chariot to take the sea nymphs and their worshippers to a lively party.

that evening there was merriment and libations

and swings that made one giddy.

even the sea witch was so taken with all of the revelry, she broke out into some form of bohemian dancing (this is a euphemism because it’s hard to classify exactly what she was doing or explain why she had no makeup on).

and voila the birthday mermaid was presented with an abundance of decadent chocolate. (so the sea witch must have been doing a chocolate dance, obvs.)

the next day the sea witch decided to take the nymphs out on a boat to a place where the sea witch could share the wonder of her sea underworld.

the sea witch led them on a guided tour.

there were magical coral reefs,

blue angel fish,*

butterfly fish,*

and moon jelly fairies.*

it was a spectacular adventure and led the sea witch to feel very proud of her marine world. she decided she never wanted to return to the evil tower of doom or the harsh reality that she had known. so they all lived happily ever after amongst the nymphaeaceae.

the end.

*i know nothing of fish species so i made these names up.  fuck it, it’s my fairy tale so i can.