Who said you shouldn’t burn your bridges?  I’ve been there, done that, and am not going back again. I didn’t get to this point in my life just to remain muzzled. I was silent long enough during my suppressed childhood,  shy and insecure teen years, and the years I sought approval and validation as a young adult. I’m done being the good girl. I’m over the popularity contest. I’m through wanting to be liked and avoiding confrontation.  This is the time in my life to unleash.  ”Speak now or forever hold your peace” isn’t just for wedding ceremonies.  

About six months after I left my position as Marketing Communications Manager at a large Philadelphia insurance company I connected with my former boss on LinkedIn.  We caught up on family and whatnot. So I asked her to write me a recommendation on LinkedIn. She seemed more than willing.  And to prove my credibility, here is her response:

“I’d be happy to write you a recommendation. If you don’t see anything in a couple of weeks, please remind me. You know how crazy things are here. Take Care, K.”

A few weeks pass and nothing. I sent her a friendly reminder. Still nothing. WTF. You’re too busy to write a LinkedIn recommendation? We’re not talking an old-school, one-page, personally addressed letter printed on high-quality paper here. Just a simple e-endorsement.  Very few words and little formatting required.  I have written about a dozen or so of these.   Two to three paragraphs max.  And Bingo! the person who asked for the recommendation is muy grateful.

I busted my ass for this woman. I put in late nights and weekends on a regular basis. She rewarded me with promotions, higher than average raises, and sterling reviews.  But I can’t get a FuckIn LinkedIn recommendation?

This year I received a Christmas card from her.  I decided to touch base to tell her how adorable her daughter is and guess what . . . ask for that recommendation again. This time no response to my email at all.  Color me puzzled.  Did she discover some evil thing I said about her while I still worked for her? Does she have a personal policy about not giving recommendations?  Does it occur to her that she may need a favor at some point in the future and without good karma she may find herself at a loss.  I’m worried about her priorities, but make no bones about it, I’m fucking pissed.

If someone can figure this shit out, please clue me in. In the meantime, guess who was  expunged from my Christmas card list:  Mrs. Cavanaugh.