she’s wicked in all the right ways
who doesn’t like a bad boy? but way more bad ass is the wicked girl. and i got one in my corner. her name is wicked shawn because she is wicked in all the right ways. recently (okay, awhile ago but i’ve been in a time cluster fuck) shawn presented me with this awesome award:
it made me blush and all giddy like a school girl. and who doesn’t like that feeling? no one doesn’t like that feeling, that’s who. so thank you my wicked goddess.
here are the rules:
1. i love polka dots. everything looks good with polka dots. shirts, sweaters, skirts, dresses, bikinis, thongs, scarves, hats … it’s just the happiest fashion detail around.
2. i’m obsessed with hot fries. if i’m going to consume all those calories and fat, and enjoy every second of it, my fries must be hot. cold fries are unacceptable. i will send back the fries even if they’re lukewarm. if you’re thinking i’m high maintenance, you’re right. what’s your point, bitches?
3. a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, i used to have short spiky annie lennox hair. and my grandma would say to me, “trishy trish, why don’t you grow your hair? you don’t look feminine with that short hair.” i thought i was the bomb-diggety. but turns out grandma was right. when i look back at pictures of me with my punk do, i realized i could mimic annie lennox’s hair but i didn’t have her face. and short hair requires that you give good face.
4. i’ve always wanted to use the phrase ”… can suck my dick!” suck my dick has punch. i like punch. verbal punch, rum punch, punch buggies, punch and judy, punching bags, junk punch. suck my lady bits doesn’t have quite the same ring.
5. i live in nj and i don’t like bon jovi. especially that living on a prayer song. yeah i said it. it’s bubble gum rock. jbj is a better actor than a rocker. now keith richards, he’s a rocker. jbj is, well, cute and cuddly with tight jeans. but keith won’t remember your name and can’t keep his jeans from falling off his heroine-hot ass. after a night of debauchery jbj would say, “we regret the disturbance and apologize to the hotel guests and administration. we intend to provide full restitution for any damages.” keith would say “those bloody pigs can suck my dick.”
6. beignets and chicory coffee from the cafe du monde in new orleans is the perfect breakfast.
7. this song makes me swirl with emotion. it’s melancholy and celebratory all at once. it stirs pathos in me. it’s got crescendo. and it moves me to shout-sing. play it now and play it loud, people!
The Only Living Boy In New York
and if i mentioned music twice in my list of seven, it’s because i fucking love music. for some this is nothing new. for others, this is a bonus list item. and for those who don’t like music, you can suck my dick.
now here are the five bloggers i’m presenting with this award:
I think suck my lady bits sounds just lovely. I’m going to try it out on this cashier with creepy kate gosselin hair right now!
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 12:29 am
and the outcome?
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dufmanno Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
I have a friend who substitutes “suck my left tit” for suck my dick but it never works out because every guy she uses it on wants to take her up on it. Oh well.
Thank you for all the love and I suspect we could take down a town full of well endowed filthy rock stars if given the chance. God, please someone give us a chance.
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“I get the news I need on the weather report.” Music keeps me sane….well relatively. Always nice to learn more about Patty.
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 12:30 am
i love love love that line! that’s the part where i sing like a spaz.
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I LOVE polka dots, really love them!! I also love music, a lot! So glad you finally had time to show your world that you were awarded! Also, suck my lady bits has a pretty nice ring to it, if you ask me. Just sayin.
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 12:31 am
and i love your polka dot dress. thanks again for the bloggy love.
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Oh Patty, I use ‘suck my dick’ all the fucking time. But it does help to be a tranny!
Okay so now I have gotten this award from you and Vanilla North…time to get my fuck on and do it right.
This weekend perhaps.
I had a chiffon polka dot skirt that I wore a blazer with. The blazer came to right below my butt cheeks and one day when I worked in the corporate world eon’s ago I took a break, went to the bathroom then walked through a large machine shop inhabited by many very manly men with my skirt tucked up into my panties.
So my dear you are so right, polka dots rock!
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 12:32 am
bwahaha! i’ve walked through the office with my skirt accidentally stuck in my pantyhose. only i didn’t have polka dot swagger.
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You KNOW I love polka dots. Like a lot. We seriously have to share polka dot pictures. *muah*
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 12:33 am
i’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.
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I’m ashamed to say I didn’t recognize that song. At first, I was like, “What hipster band is this, Vampire Weekend? Why don’t they try to rip Paul Simon off some more.”
My dad had “Bookends” on reel-to-reel, and I still know all the lyrics to every song. Must remember to add S&G to my own library.
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 12:36 am
vampire weekend ripped off peter gabriel. and then peter did their song with his name in it, which was awesome. and come to think of it, it all did sound like paul simon in his later solo years. check out the boxer. another epic s&g tune.
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OHH thank you so much. Im sorry I just now noticed this. Its been a hella day!
I love this and again……. thank you SOO much!
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 12:37 am
was it the jehovah’s witnesses again?
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fucking polka dots can suck my dick. There I even entered the insult in your writing style. Insult with pizzaz.
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 12:38 am
well played, dickhead. : )
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I’m with you on #6!!!! Let’s go there now. Like right now.
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 4:11 am
yessss, let’s.
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#4 – I’m a big fan of “go fuck yourself” but I like to add what they should use and it’s never something useful.
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 4:13 am
go fuck yourself with this pogo stick. like that?
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Thank you so much! And omg omg. I love saying Suck my dick too! And Go fuck yourself. Well, at least inside my head. I have no qualms about cursing in English.
And omg omg. THIS is my gift to you and Shawn:
http://iheartpolkadots.tumblr.com/
(My tumblr that I started in May… We are like TWINS! Ok, triplets!)
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 4:17 am
ok, i love you huge right now. and lucky you, i give mad tongue. ; ) seriously, that’s THE best polka dot stuff eva . i can’t decide on my fave, but i can tell you i love Yayoi Kasuma now. and maybe it’s the lady di one. oh i dunno. back to can’t decide. i’ll just keep staring.
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Where was my manners??!! I totally let Confucius down.
CONGRATULATIONS!! You ARE beautiful m’lady. And I forgot another OMG moment:
I have always imagined myself inside my head looking like Annie Lennox in the sexy tux. I like her the best in slick black hair though.
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i love that WOW is in your name because you are WOW with a capital W-O-W. annie as a dominatrix? what’s not to like, right?
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Agree with you whole-heartedly on the beignets and chicory coffee. But they’re also the perfect “I’m completely out of my trees drunk/stoned/drunk & stoned at 4:38 am and need some civilization” treat.
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patty punker Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 6:36 pm
anyone who is whole-hearted about beignets and chicory coffee is aces in my book.
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Hey, I was born in NJ! Don’t remember it… I was 2 or younger when we moved to CA.
Mmmm – I love beignets! There’s a great Louisiana-style blues bistro here that makes them just right!
(aw man, I would have given my award to half the bloggers you have listed, but I thought they already had it, too. *sigh* )
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patty punker Reply:
July 10th, 2010 at 1:56 am
i so would have given the award to you, too. but i swore you already had it or got it when i did or something.
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so you AND Elly are Jersey girls, Ry is currently a New Yorker and I was born and raised in the Empire State only to land in DC. Coincidence or mongolian cluster fuck? You be the judge.
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dude i grew up in upstate new york. what about you?
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A Vapid Blonde Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 4:51 pm
WHERE???
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patty punker Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 5:43 pm
we’ll talk at blogher.
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Yes, having a penis has its benefits. One of which is using it in your vocabulary.
I don’t think, “….you can suck my vagina” has the same effect like you said. In fact, it might be interpreted as an invitation. And substituting slangs for vagina still doesn’t work.
I’d love to see a picture of your Annie Lenox haircut. And then an after shot!
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patty punker Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
can i say hoo-ha?
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I’m with you on JBJ, but how do you feel about Bruce?
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patty punker Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
early stuff – poetic. later stuff – not so much.
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Suck my dick is my favourite saying ever… I think Demi Moore in GI Jane was super, super hot.
I have very short hair but LONG eyelashes – is that allowed??
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patty punker Reply:
July 14th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
short hair is def allowed on girls with pretty faces and long eyelashes. just not on me.
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“jbj is a better actor than a rocker. now keith richards, he’s a rocker.”
Amen! Bon Jovi sucks! His “safe/soft/cheesy as hell” pop rock crap bugs the hell out of me! Awful stuff!
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