I had no clue so many people were on match I have never looked by somebody from your work? the gym? OMG maybe it’s your area. Also I have 2 awesomely great guys both over 40, both single, unfortunately you pretty much ruled them out via this post.. I have been looking for an awesome chick for each of them for years. Granted it will take a special and very different chick for each of them since they are polar opposites and wont change. Good luck with the hunt, but yeah, I can’t get behind the online dating either, had a male friend that was all about it, he was always boinking 4 or 5 chicks at a time and totally judgey like he was picking produce it made me ill to watch.

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patty punker Reply:
August 18th, 2011 at 9:05 pm

like picking produce? as in ripe for the taking home? i wonder why i got the feeling there were a ton of male sluts out there.

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I blogged recently about being on an online dating site.

Firstly, let me say I live deeply rural in a fly-over state. That means it’s not like I have places to go meet people, let alone new people. Plus, although raised here, it’s not like I ever fit in. In short, there’s really not THAT many people within a 50 mile radius of me and of that number, there are few people let’s be honest: as smart as I am. Let’s go one step farther: my IQ is only 126. I’m not asking for a genius; I’m embarrassed at my level of “intellect.” I grew up skinning animals and driving tractors (that said, I’m a skirt-wearing, heavily-madeup broad–I’m a girlie girl who can also do the butchering).

I think it’s important to state that my “pool” is shallower or at least less stocked.

To my horror, I don’t think I exaggerate when I say 98% of messages were like crank calls. Perhaps they were looking for online sex chat but as YOU stated, my profile talked about quite the opposite, I’d “blocked” any messages from people there for intimate encounters, hookups, casual dating, “activity partners,” etc. I’d made every attempt to avoid guys looking to jerk off for a minute or meet me at a no-tell motel (which we don’t have around here but you get my point).

Age didn’t come into it for me. I also blocked those under 30 and although I’d had my upper limit set at 65 (which is my MOTHER’S age), I still got whomever. So, I narrowed that to 35 and 50…still got other ages but less. I’m not sure how their algorhythms, filters and what-nought works.

Like you, I’d said liberal politics, writing, reading, no tv and even had something that said, “Look I grew up on a farm, I will never camp or hang out at a river–my idea of camping is a hotel with a/c and running water.”

Got FOX news junkies and EVERY fing man said he wanted to go camping or hang out at the river.

From that, I assume the site really does NOT have software helping to match along what makes you happy. As for the individuals, they look at a photo and send a msg (which isn’t too shocking as men are more visually-orientated than women and I’m a graphic artist; I’m talking sexual attraction). They don’t care what you like. They just like your looks and hope you’ll respond. Period.

I spent over 2 horrific months. My first 10 hours, I had 146 emails. That continued for 3 weeks and finally tapered off (due to tweaking my profile and more importantly, I think newer women/ fresh meat came on). Towards the last 2 weeks, I got about 50/ 50 of sex-chat disgusting messages or “Your preety. Wood you lyke to camping with me?” (illiterates).

I don’t want to believe all men are this horrible. It’s either the dating site just lumps us all in there together (in spite of the 27 page long survey I filled out) or in-person makes it harder for complete dolts and aholes to accost us. It was definitely a negative experience. Like you, I have perhaps 10 friends who’ve married from their online meetings. They also live in cities…so, perhaps my pickins were too slim.

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patty punker Reply:
August 18th, 2011 at 9:21 pm

first of all, thank you for your coming here and your epic response. i love it!

second of all, i did feel like it was one big 900 call. yet some people, as you know, get legit outcomes.

call me old school, inflexible, close-minded, picky, whateverthefuck, but i’m going to need an in-person connection.

lastly, my idea of camping is exactly the same as yours. i work year fucking round. i don’t want to work on my short-lived vacation. i want luxury and pampering. i want relaxation, but not inactivity. and inspiration, but not in a starving artist kind of way. my parents made me do the camping thing so i get what it has to offer. and i also know the drawbacks. there’s nothing wrong with a roaring bonfire outside of a 5-star lodge or cabin. and a suite that has a fuck-yeah bathroom.

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Oh Patty! You got need to read my friend over at blueskiesandyellowdogs.com. She does have the best blog stories. I can’t believe the trolls out there that think college sorority girls want to date them. Gah!

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patty punker Reply:
August 18th, 2011 at 9:25 pm

i will definitely check out any friend of yours. i sort of wish i was delusional like the trolls. i’m way to realistic. i’m thinking i need to let really loosen up and throw all caution to the wind. whats a little rejection when nothing was invested.

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Dude this can be solved with one simple request.
“Rock Stars Only”
And I don’t mean all the half wits who THINK they’d like to be a music legend. I’m talking about the leather wearing, shirt ripping, skull wearing, Marshall Amp stacking, Les Paul playing genuine article.

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patty punker Reply:
August 18th, 2011 at 9:26 pm

oh dufmanno, won’t you be mine?

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A virtual stick is just what some of those sites need. Someone should get on that.

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patty punker Reply:
August 18th, 2011 at 9:28 pm

word, vinny. there should totally be an app for that. or at least it should be on the toolbar of an app.

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You are eye candy and soul candy too my friend. There is no computer program that can identify soul candy.

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patty punker Reply:
August 18th, 2011 at 9:36 pm

apparently i’m more like warheads, lemonheads or toxic waste candy.

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Men are fuckin’ creeps. I’m glad I never dated any.

Here’s another great post about the online dating scene. Hilarious.

http://nakedgirlinadress.com/3938/10-tips-to-help-men-improve-online-dating-profiles/

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patty punker Reply:
August 18th, 2011 at 9:41 pm

where have all the good guys gone?

just read that post and it was hilarious. she’s so right! and she has a way better blogger name than me.

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I spent about a year online dating on and off before I met Eric on Match. There were definitely some creepers. (One guy who sent me an email me cussed me out for pointing out to him that I didn’t meet any of his very strict criteria.) But on the other hand, I met a few guys who I genuinely liked and had fun with even though we didn’t have any chemistry. But if there had been people from work on there I would have erased my profile before you could say “ha ha! My friends put my profile up as a prank”.

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I got this baby girl……. Come see me…..I meet men every day who want women their own age, have reached a point in their career where they can choose where they live….*ummm, can you say which European duty station they want????)*…..they can retire at 50 and live very comfortably……a very high percentage of them share our liberal views…..and as officers they are intelligent and capable of holding stimulating conversation and have led fascinating lives. Fuck online dating! THAT is bullshit!

Also, virtual beatings by stick….awesome idea!!!

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subWOW Reply:
August 19th, 2011 at 10:39 pm

For some reason that hot steamy scene from An Officer and a Gentlemen comes to mind right away. Hmmhmmhmm. PATTY! Get on with it. Now book a ticket to KY right now!

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patty punker Reply:
August 20th, 2011 at 9:22 am

my wicked madam got my back, yo. hellz yeah!

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You’re smarter than I was to get out at three days, rather than the three months I suffered. You didn’t miss much… believe me, most of the guys lied about their age, income, and mental stability.

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patty punker Reply:
August 20th, 2011 at 9:23 am

i know what’s with the lying, too. who would want to start a relationship based on a lie. so stupid.

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” i also indicated that my political views are very liberal and mentioned being a recovering catholic. and conservative church-going protestant dude emailed me? ”

P, conservative church dude thinks he can save you from yourself. They all believe that.

hang in there on the recovery. it’s been 30 something years since my last confession and there has been sin. i confess i’m glad of both of those things.

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patty punker Reply:
August 20th, 2011 at 9:25 am

amen! and bwahahahahahaha save me from myself. such foolishness. i’m buring in hell and there’s no way to stop it now.

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I have to say I am with you on the whole nearness thing, rather than the computer data/picture thing–though have to say that the nearness thing hasn’t always worked out either. Why oh why does this whole you and me have to be so damn hard…i want you…i need you…have to have you forever…please, leave me the hell alone!
I couldn’t do the online dating thing because I would flat ass lie…yep, all curves and breasts here, sorry no pictures…just believe me.

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patty punker Reply:
August 20th, 2011 at 9:28 am

yeah, i should have titled my profile as “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.”

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What has the world come to???!!! You are so hot and awesome and intelligent and funny. This just boggles my mind. WTF? Match.com?

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subWOW Reply:
August 19th, 2011 at 10:49 pm

I meant to say WTF to Match.com!

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patty punker Reply:
August 20th, 2011 at 9:30 am

dear person reading comments,
i paid her to say all of this. isn’t she the bestest. love you subwow! ♥
pp

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Dude, honestly, those sites are CREEPEEEE! Just the idea of being on parade like a catalogue where you go to pick a mate, is horrible to me. Shudder. There must be a better way. I mean is there an “awesomepeopleonly.com” where you can go to find a suitable partner who might appreciate your awesomeness? No. Why not?

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patty punker Reply:
August 20th, 2011 at 2:22 pm

it is like a catalog! like a mail order bride catalog. apparently my awesomeness isn’t for everybody. i don’t understand it either.

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This is on instance where organic is better, really better and not false advertising.

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patty punker Reply:
August 26th, 2011 at 11:08 am

bwhahaha!

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I’m all for on-line dating. Sadly, it wasn’t around back in my day. I took out a half page ad instead (well, I felt I had a lot to advertise..) and eventually met my hubby from it. He was the last I contacted (smirk).. Seriously, it was a blast – go for it.

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patty punker Reply:
August 26th, 2011 at 11:09 am

ohhh, i’m not as brave as you.

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Oh, Match.com. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. This is the site that got me a reputation, but thankfully only within it’s bounds. Also, it got me dates with more married men than single. No thanks!

Tell me, do they still have voluptous/portly as a body shape choice?

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patty punker Reply:
August 26th, 2011 at 11:10 am

i keep hearing about all of these married men out there. so fucked up.

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@SisterMerryHellish
That is seriously a body shape choice??!!! OMFG??!!! Troll site much??? Can we just all blog about this site and blow it the fuck up? Wouldn’t that be really nice? We all have a somewhat different base of readers and if everyone writes an expose on them, it would have SOME impact. Maybe even pull some attention from elsewhere.

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patty punker Reply:
August 26th, 2011 at 11:12 am

it’s a blast to blog about. it’s so vulnerable.

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I totally agree with you. When you said you saw a guy from work, I was like, OMG, I would hate for anyone I worked with to see me and then, you were right there with, OMG, I don’t want people I work with to see me. We totally share a brain. And Protestant guy? Isn’t that a sin? I mean, I don’t know, but, do you think God approves of you finding the mother of your 11 children on a website? Maybe he/she does. What do I know? I mean, where else are you going to find her, if not the internet. Ok, I’m being mean now so I’m going to shut up and I’m a protestant so all you haters out there just pull back you reins. I’m joking. God and I have an understanding. He gave me a sense of humor and I choose to use it in sometimes unconventional ways. He’s totally okay with it. wink/shrug

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patty punker Reply:
August 26th, 2011 at 11:14 am

i share a brain with you! *happy dance*

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I’m in the Seventh Circle of Hell known as Match.com too. Stay on. You may not get a partner out of it, but you will get great blog fodder!

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patty punker Reply:
October 2nd, 2011 at 6:41 pm

well, you have a point there. how’s it going for you?

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I can’t even imagine how weird it is to sign up on one of those sites. I would be paranoid too. Plus, I think it’s crappy that these men want women 10 years younger than themselves. Really? I hope there’s some women saying they want men 10 years younger. Although, unless you look like Jennifer Aniston it’s tough to get the 30 year old guy interested.

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patty punker Reply:
October 2nd, 2011 at 6:42 pm

it’s ridiculous. where is my ashton kutcher?

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Ahh, internet dating.

I did it once for about three months and had a BLAST. Different date every night, most of whom made it pretty clear pretty quickly why they needed to find love on the interweb. Then again, some were alright and a few were even possible Harem candidates.

As for the age thing, well…I look 26 anyway.

Good to be back, sugar. I missed the hell out of you.

- B x

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patty punker Reply:
October 2nd, 2011 at 6:43 pm

missed the hell out of you more!

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If you think about it there is no difference, save from the obvious, with the concept of meeting someone online verses in real life. In real life you still wade through tons of people that aren’t interested you. Difference is they don’t look at you and you don’t look at them. Guys are still “disgusting” and proposition women for sex. It’s way they do. I thought older women would have realized the reality of this. Decent guys just proposition you in respectful manner and take you out yada yada. You only ever have a few people that are potential matches, somewhere like a bar places many people in front of you at once to increase the odds that will meet one. Online match making sites do the same. I’d even go as far as to draw a likeness between these online sites and bars. People will go to certain bars because they want to meet certain types of people. There seems to be a site for every kind of union (see j-date). So that’s how I look at it. There really isn’t tangibly that much difference.

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patty punker Reply:
October 2nd, 2011 at 6:44 pm

i maintain chemistry is key.

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A girl I work with is getting married in three weeks to a guy she met on there. Claims they’ve been together for three years.

I still don’t buy it and I still think that they will have alien babies that glow.

That site is just unnatural that way yo.

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